You never wanted it to happen.
You never planned it this way.
To raise a child by yourself, let alone a boy
You can teach a girl to be a woman by being an awesome one.
How the hell do you teach a boy to be a man?
Then there are the other aspects of life.
Dealing with the landlord, mechanic, electrian, and plumber in this ridiculously paternalistic society.
You go to the doctor’s by yourself.
Decisions (choice of school and where to live for example) are made faster but at the same time feel heavier because you are both the decider and executioner. If anything goes wrong, it’s all on you.
The rent, the school fees, utilities, food, and other expenses regularly threaten to overwhelm you. And that’s without any entertainment; pay TV, school trips, trips to malls that have a playground and other things that meet the approval of your bourgeois ass kid.
Then there is the thing that is always with you that you rarely speak about. That feeling that you are carrying the weight of the entire world on your shoulders.
The sheer responsibility of raising a tiny human into an upstanding member of society. All by yourself. There is no one to tell if he’s ill. Or if he’s becoming hard headed. It’s all on you.
But then you look about you, and life is still beautiful. You go for a drink with your friends, you have a double of some fine aged whisky (or wine), you smoke a cigar once in a while even though your doctor will frown at it.
You put on your vest with an S on your chest (you should really get one of those if you don’t already have one) and you realize you are it. You are superwoman.
©2016 Mugs Gitau
This post is partly inspired by my life. I wrote it on IWD in recognition of every woman, and the (mostly) unspoken struggles we go through. The choices we make and how they affect us. Mothers. Single, or married. Those not yet mothers. Those yearning to be mothers. Those who lost their children, some before they ever got to hold them. We share some of our fears and concerns with those close to us. But the rest we keep mostly to ourselves.
Here’s to women everywhere.