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Sore spot

so many questions
so many questions
I don’t want another child either
and God knows I hate the pregnancy scares
the uncertainty
my constant fight with contraceptives
none of them work without causing some opposite or equal harm.
From adding weight, to mood swings or suppressing my sex drive.

 

Some, like the pill, implants are trying to kill me,
they don’t go well with high blood pressure.
Others, like the coil are just there to make your periods heavier,
give you false hope
so that you din’t see it coming when you do get pregnant.

 

And condoms – those latex devils, torture to the latex intolerant.
It’s 2017 and the none latex condoms are more likely to get you pregnant, so really what’s the point.
It’s like a mockery.
For some reason they don’t fit diaphragms in East Africa.
I mean fuck those who cannot use the other contraceptives, right?

 

I could have my tubes tied, if I can find a gyna to agree to it, but what if I change my mind?

 

That in the year of our Lord 2017, we are still struggling with contraceptives, is a testament to how little attention science has been paying to women.
The onus is still too much on women, yet it makes two to make a baby.
It sucks.

 

Somedays I look forward to menopause. But who knows what fresh hell that will unleash on my body, and how long it will take to cope? Or if the solutions out there will work? Science hasn’t been paying much attention to me in my reproductive age, what makes me think it will pay attention to me, menopausal?

 

But the emotional havoc is the worst
Every time we have a pregnancy scare
Because every time you remind me that you do not want a child
it sucks
it feels like a fresh rejection
like you think I need to be reminded
because maybe I’m out to get pregnant
against your will
like to win I have to make sure that you do not get me pregnant
and it’s the year 2017AD
And I still can’t guarantee it.

 

©Mugethi Gitau 2017

 

Footnote
This post is me expressing my frustration that modern medicine and science still isn’t doing enough to address women’s reproductive health issues unless they are considered life threatening or another life is involved. We could do more to improve the quality of life for women everywhere.

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