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Category: non-fiction

Blogs about day to day stuff

Sore spot

I don’t want another child either and God knows I hate the pregnancy scares the uncertainty my constant fight with contraceptives none of them work without causing some opposite or equal harm. From adding weight, to mood swings or suppressing my sex drive.   Some, like the pill, implants are trying to kill me, they don’t go well with high blood pressure. Others, like the coil are just there to make your periods heavier, give you false hope so that you din’t see it coming when you do get pregnant.   And condoms – those latex devils, torture to the…

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Growth

I’ve always been an old soul. Considered myself pretty grown for years now. I thought I was done growing, but the recent years have brought me more growth than I was even aware existed. Maybe growth is loving someone thousands of miles away. But knowing you cannot be together. Recognizing that you are too old to uproot yourself and go after your love. Knowing that love does not always mean you will be together. Maybe growth is transcending religion and being open to the spirituality and faiths of others . Realizing that you are not right and they are not…

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Migraine

You wish people would stop reacting to the patch on your forehead and asking “what happened?” Because you would rather not talk and invite another searing flash of pain across your temple You will kill someone before you willingly move. Because with every movement it feels like the entire insides of your head – brain, floating matter, connective tissue and nerves all move to that side of the head. And back when you straighten again. And then throb strongly to protest.  x All you want is a dark quiet room. Because the migraine has made you super sensitive to light…

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It’s complicated

 … It’s complicated I’m complicated You might flip me off when you make an innocent remark Then when you expect to, not even get a reaction … I struggle to express the simplest things then cluelessly blurt out things with far reaching emotional consequences … Sometimes I feel the absolutely worst thing I could do is need you But I get upset if you ever act like you don’t need me, or that I shouldn’t need you … It’s complicated Coz how can I be loved without being vulnerable? I’m complicated because I want love, but I don’t want to want…

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of (not) hearing

image from clipfid.com It takes years for you to realize it. For the reality to hit you. After all, you’ve spent years denying it.  xxx I get irritated when people speak in such a low tone that I cannot hear. Why are you whispering? Then worse is when you ask them to repeat and they repeat the last 2 words of the sentence you didn’t hear. Those are the ones I heard! Also, don’t repeat in exactly the same volume or lower. Listen, that’s why did not hear it in the first place! And for the love of God, if…

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Sitting Shiva

The Jewish people have a custom known as Sitting Shiva. It’s when someone dies and you stay indoors even after they are buried. You mourn the deceased. You talk of their memories. Your neighbors and family bring you food and tell you they are sorry. And they sit Shiva with you for a while. Then they go, and someone else comes. At the end of sitting Shiva, you have mourned the person all you possibly could. Plus you have cabin fever. And cannot wait to leave the house and resume life. *** I feel like that’s what I’m doing. Sitting Shiva…

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#DearLord (Holy Monologues Pt. 2)

#DearLord How are you? I hope the task of managing all of us is not driving you crazy. #DearLord I keep asking you for a sign. I suspect you keep sending me signs but I keep ignoring them. #DearLord I hear Your voice. *whispers* Is my voice louder than yours? Why am I so conflicted? #DearLord How about a really clear sign? Like a note, signed by you? Or even a tweet? #DearLord  Am all for listening to my Spirit. But what if my Spirit says one thing today and another tomorrow? In that case did my Spirit change it’s…

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#HolyMonologues (#DearGod)

So I finally went ahead and decided to tweet God these questions that I’ve been longing to ask. – at the risk of not being considered a good Christian 😉 As per the suggestion of one my followers, let’s call these the #HolyMonologues (#DearGod) #DearGod how are you? #DearGod Allow me 1/365 1/4 days to go “Why Lord Why?” #DearGod Had you made me a good liar, my life would be way easier. #WhyLordwhy, am I so sincere? I thought I was abnormal till the other day! #DearGod Why do I still trust people? Haven’t all the events showing me…

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Bad Idea

Bad Idea I can’t date my platonic friend the one who calls me and we talk for hours … The one I vent with when we’ve had a bad day … The one guy whose face lights up every time he sees me. *** We can’t date, we’re platonic! … He gives me sage advice when I have a big decision … He dares tell me don’t when no one else will … He tells me of his girlscapades and listens to  my manscapades *** I think dating might ruin our friendship … I love him but I can’t date…

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